"Even when prepared, loss is so hard on a heart that truly loves."
The golden furred angel had settled near the edge of the viewing pond and had now been there for days. The Silver One approached quietly so as to respect his friend's thoughts. "It is almost time," he said at last, "time for the gift she sends each year. She never forgets you. You know how deeply she loves you." The Golden One smiled back at his friend - a sad wistful smile. "Then why can she not accept my gift to her? I offered it the day she set me free. I was so weary, I hurt so badly and just breathing was a struggle - there was nothing else she could do - except make me suffer longer. Why can she not see that?" The Silver One settled next to his friend, no words seemed to come and fill the void. At last he looked into the mirror like waters, "She sees that last moment - she wanted that moment to be peaceful for you." The Golden One looked deeper into the water's reflections of another place, "I wish for her an end to the tears and pain. I heard my cry and saw when I jerked in her loving arms - but I was no longer there. How can I let her know this?" The Silver One shook his head in silence. It seemed the only imperfection in this wonderful place was that they could not stop the guilt their loved ones sometimes felt - could not touch the aching in their hearts to let them know it was all right - that they were never far. "She knows I love all people - they are such a delight. How then if I love all the others could I bear ill will to her?" The Silver One's gaze became distant for a moment. "Because they are people and do not understand," he replied.
"People are funny," agreed the Golden One. "If I had a balled up bit of tin foil and someone to play catch with I was soooo happy - yet she spent a fortune on toys! All I really needed was my tinfoil ball and her to play catch, or to be allowed to wrap my paws around her neck." The Golden One gazed into the distance with a dreamy look in his green eyes. "I do miss her cooking me chicken and bacon, and rocking me each night. And I'm still not sure why Papa found my wanting her to be in bed when I wanted to go to bed so funny, he called me her 'husband' when I would look out to see was she coming to bed. Oh and I so miss her pampering me, the baths, the combings. Did you know she would carry me down the street in her arms for walks? We would even go to the vet like that. I knew always I was safest when she was there, no matter where we were. Even that last day. I was hurting so much - I wanted to be free. I only regretted it meant leaving her." With that the Golden one became silent and closed his eyes to hide his sadness that the one he loved so was in such pain.
"Our friends will be here soon, you know they enjoy the love that surrounds the balloons she sends each year. And she remembers each of us as well." Thinking of the bright balloons and the even brighter love that surrounded them made the Silver One smile. "She is very dear to Daddy, and to so many. They will guard her heart, Little Friend." Now he grinned and waited, he had started their yearly game - slowly the Golden One rose and turned to face his friend "LITTLE?! - I'll show you little," and he bound onto his friend's back. Both knew the Silver One's thick fur would keep the Golden One's claws at bay - and both knew it would happen this way every year, and the Silver One leapt into the air - soaring high above the clouds and then down to where she sat. "Go, sit by her a bit, she will feel your presence. It will ease the pain in both your hearts, that is why we come here each year. Go now - we cannot stay too long or you will miss her gift to you."
The Golden One sat against her heart - glowing in the love he had for her and that he felt in her heart for him, "I hope one day I can heal the deep wound in her heart." he said quietly. "Look, see how grown the Little Wolf is? I guarded him for her you know? He is doing well - getting so grown. Do you suppose he remembers me? Not just the tales - but really remembers?" The Silver One smiled, "He remembers the you inside, the love, the protection, the specialness. He remembers you well my friend. And her mate does also - remember he sent your balloons for her the year she could not? Well - he sent then in his own way, but he made sure you were not forgotten." Now both were laughing. "One day she will understand those last moments were nothing my friend, until then you will have to be patient, guard over her and send her love on the kiss of the soft breezes. Come, we must get back to the others to watch the balloons."
The Golden One leapt again to his friend's back, this time reluctantly, as it meant leaving her. He looked back at her before they left, "Know, Mama , I love you. You did what had to be done and all I felt was and remember is the love that surrounded me that day. I have never left you, I never will."
